I got my Ichigo Mashimaro game for the PS2 in the mail today. I usually don’t buy games, let alone limited editions, but I couldn’t say no to the power of Youth Appreciation. Three days of waiting and $115 later (shipping is a bitch), I was one game, one artbook (mostly old shit) and one Miu figure richer.
Please note that the pictures below are of the poorest quality imaginable. I had to hook up my camcorder to my TV tuner card in my computer and take screenshots through the TV tuner program to get these pictures. This means you people need to get off your asses and buy me a digital camera that I’ll never use.
Miu, The Leper
By default, the Miu figure comes in the blouse + shorts combination. I had to strip her and put the yukata on her myself. I know what you’re thinking. You want to see Miu naked, huh? Well, you’re not going to see it here. Not because of my outstanding moral character, but because I’d rather be kicked squarely in the groin than to put that yukata on her ever again. The deal with this figure is that she has super-action movable arms. What this really means is that her arms fall off even if you stare at her the wrong way. That’s not so important because it’s physically impossible to dress her while her arms are still connected to her torso, but it lends itself to wacky situations when you’re trying to put the arms back on.
So you disconnect her arms and put the yukata on her. Then you put in the arms and put on the obi (the red sash thing) and you’re done, right?
Wrong.
Miu decides that it’s about time for her super-action movable arms to fall off.
*plop*
Okay, so you put the yukata and the obi on first. Now, we put the arms in and we’re done, right?
Wrong.
The yukata is designed so that the the holes from the sleeves are very small. They’re even smaller when the obi is already in place. The best part is, the hole in her torso where her arms go are nowhere near the holes provided by the sleeves. So you force the arms in the hole and try to make it fit.
*plop*
By this point, I was already frustrated and I tried to look for the missing arms. Funny thing was that both arms were still in place. Then I looked closer and find out that she has a super-action movable neck, too. Thankfully, her head’s range of movement is a little more generous that those of her arms. After 5 more minutes of making her look like the picture in the back of the box, I had to settle for “close enough.”
I actually dropped the damn thing when I was trying to take the above picture. Thankfully, only the head fell off. If the arms fell off again, Miu would be naked, covered in feces and floating somewhere in my septic tank. She’s going to wear that yukata for the rest of my life and she’s going to like it.
Was all this trouble worth $115? Fuck no! You don’t buy anime games to actually play them and have fun. You buy them because you’re stupid and believe that money is overrated.
For those who are wondering. Miu’s pantsu are painted on her skin (white with a red waistband and some hearts on the back). Lord knows what the hardcore Youth Appreciation Enthusiasts would do to her otherwise. Not me, though, because the words “take off her yukata” have escaped the bounds of logic and reason in my brain. As far as I’m concerned, she could have a penis in there and I wouldn’t know or care about it. That yukata is staying on, period.
The game at a glance and the return of Crazy Sachiko
Let it be clearly known that this isn’t a real game. It’s your standard click through text and make decisions super fun happy time that they charge money for. I speak Japanese at a fairly high level so playing these games aren’t a problem for me (Let’s ignore the fact that 99% of these games are utter crap). However, when I see people on English speaking message boards (gamefaqs, for one) saying that they’re trying to play these games without knowing any Japanese, it boggles the mind. Nevermind the language barrier, most of these games are sheer torture. Actually, I guess the language barrier is a good thing in this case.
So in the interest of kindness and making my site more practical than just a bucket of cheap laughs and swear words, I’ve decided to blog my progress through this game. I’m hoping that I can compile the data to write a full-fledged FAQ for the English-only jabronies out there who want to play this game for some unholy reason. Please bear in mind that if this game is so shitty that it’s unplayable, then the project will be cut short and I’ll never speak of this game again. With that said, let’s get started.
When I play these games, I name the main character “Ogasawara Sachiko” from Maria-sama ga Miteru. If you condition yourself to tune out the onii-chan references and the occasional erect and semen-dripping penis in the H versions (pity that this game has no H-scenes) of these games, it’s really like playing the role of Crazy Sachiko. The main character likes girls and Crazy Sachiko likes girls. Nothing can feel more right than this.
So our protagonist (Crazy Sachiko from hereon) comes back to Hamamatsu to prey on young girls. Crazy Sachiko has 28 days to win the love of a little girl or an old hag (Nobue is still 20, btw).
With that, I’ll leave you with some shots from the first day in the game.
Nobue: No, lately, there have been rumors that a pervert has been coming around here. I thought that it could have been you
Have you ever thought that maybe they’re talking about you!?
Sachiko: I’m Ogasawara. Nice to meet you, Matsuri-chan.
That is the true look of fear. Matsuri is smart.
Coming soon…
Sachiko vs. Miu – The road to victory!