I’ve heard the stories and I did not believe them. I was more than a skeptic. I was a flat out non-believer.
“Pish posh!” I would say to those who would tell these supposed firsthand accounts. As far as I was concerned, if I didn’t see it with my own eyes, it didn’t exist. Why in the world would anyone do such a thing? Did they not get beat up enough as a child? Is there some untapped sexual pleasure to be derived from being laughed at by others that I don’t know about yet?
Today is my mom’s birthday and I went out to dinner with her at a local Japanese restaurant. And yes, my friends, I saw it with my own eyes. I saw a balding, chubby white dude in his mid 30s at the sushi bar by himself. He brought his own chopsticks. They had a nice glossy finish and came in an equally nice wooden box.
Of course, as bad as that sounds, the story doesn’t end there. He felt it was his duty to talk to the sushi chefs and try to incorporate as much Japanese as possible into his English, which he did very well (or very badly, depending on your interpretation).
Let me tell you something… when witnessing an event such as the one described above, one’s self esteem cannot rise any higher without beating up some nuns or playing in the Special Olympics. You take that ego boost and you savor the shit out of it. It’s almost orgasmic.
I understand that in the grand scheme of things, seeing something like this isn’t a big deal. This is particularly true for those who read my site. I’m sure most of you have seen some guy like that at a local con or in your school’s anime club. Well, I haven’t, so consider this my first and only rant on the issue.