I gave Brian a $20 bill earlier this week and asked him to bet it on black at the Roulette table when he’s at Vegas this weekend. I originally wanted to ask him to bet it on 15 because I have sentimental attachments (born on the 15th day of the year, etc.) to that number. I dropped 4 digits on my last Vegas trip in December (the second time in 5 months) so I limited myself to a bet that’s only slightly worse than 50/50.
Brian called me during work on Friday and he told me that I won. The ball landed on black and I just became $20 richer, or so I thought…
It’s too fucking bad that the ball also landed on 15.
I lost $680 solely due to my second guessing. If I went with my gut instinct, I’d be up to my neck in tacos and lap dances right now. Instead, I’ll have to occupy myself with tacos and casual masturbation.
A quick crash course in gambling for those not in the know. Winning on a color in Roulette pays 1 to 1, so a winning a $20 bet gets you $40 back (your original bet + your winnings). Winning on a number pays 35 to 1, so winning a $20 bet gets you $720 back. You can do the math here and figure out why I said I lost $680 even though I only gave Brian a $20 bill.
Unfortunately, this is not my most tragic gambling story. When I went to Vegas on December 10th, I put $20 on an 11 team parlay, which means that I predict the outcome of 11 different games against the spread. If I get even one of the 11 wrong, I lose the bet, but if I get all 11 right then I get paid much more than if I made the 11 bets separately. You can see where this is going here. I got 10 out of 11 right, and the one I got wrong was the very first game that ended. The payout for the 11 team parlay is 1400 to 1 at the Mirage. The Dallas Shiteating Cowboys owe me $28,000 because they couldn’t beat the Lions by 10.5 points.
With that said, here is my annual wish list.
- New camera – Mine sucks
- 46″ 1080p LCD HDTV – They’re cheaper than they were a year ago, so I upped the size a notch
- A handgun – My thirst for blood is the same as it was last year
- Plane tickets to Seattle in the summer – Because I’d rather not pay for them myself
- 24″ LCD monitor for my computer – 1680 x 1050 is not enough
- Suzumiya Haruhi no Tomadoi for PS2 – Because I want stupid games that I’ll never play. I would have also asked for the Lucky Star game but the anime cast is pig disgusting (not to mention that the manga character designs used in the game are fucking awful) and I will not let you support their reign of terror. I never understood why the all the roles for the anime were recast from the drama CDs. But, yes, I still watched the anime because it was free and I like little girls.
As for New Year’s resolutions…
