I watched 21 last weekend. If you haven’t figured out that I love to gamble by now then get out.
Anyways, in the beginning of the movie the main character shows Kevin Spacey just exactly how stupidly smart he is by explaining the answer to the Monty Hall problem.
This is the one of the first things they teach you in Math 55 (discrete math) in Berkeley, which is a lower division math course that has no prerequisites. So, you expect me to believe that a senior at MIT (where they finish SICP in 15 weeks, which is fucking hardcore – not even Berkeley did this when I was there) can spout this in an upper division math class and the professor declares him to be a genius worthy of joining his prestigious Blackjack club?
FUCK! THAT! SHIT!
Couple of other gripes include:
- The chances of you sitting at a table that is +15 is ridiculously low. You could go an entire weekend without finding a table like that.
- Now drunk white guys are going to imitate what they saw in this movie at the Blackjack table. Thankfully, this won’t work at Pechanga and most big Vegas casinos where they use the constant shuffling machine. Also, single and double deck games don’t let you enter mid-deck.
I love dripping hate out of my pores for absolutely no reason. It’s almost as fun as gambling. Almost.
Yoga mechanic
A friend of mine (female) said that three places where I can meet girls are
- Adult co-ed sports leagues
- Yoga studios
- Auto repair courses
The first one is a no-brainer. I’m not a slobbering fatass so this is something that I can consider. The second one makes sense but it’s something that I’m not really interested in for various reasons. The third one, however, still confuses me. My friend says that single girls would take a class like that to meet guys so it ends up being full of girls. I have never heard of anything like this before. If your name is not Hanie, please feel free to validate or discredit my friend’s claim.
World’s smartest man
So if you’ve been paying attention, you know that I went to the Lakers game 2 weeks ago. You should also know that I tried to “upgrade” my tickets at the arena and that the plan failed miserably. That meant I had $300 in straight cash in my wallet ($20 bills). I don’t like carrying that much cash on me unless I’m at a casino and I didn’t want to stretch out my new wallet with a crapload of bills, so I decided to go out and spend some money. I’d just like to point out that going to the bank and depositing excess cash is for boorish gypsies.
I went to the local Japanese bookstore to buy a copy of Dengeki G’s Magazine.
There’s absolutely no reason why I should buy this thing anymore. I lost interest in this stuff 5 years ago. It does, however, have decent anime information but I think magazines in general had their vital organs harvested by the Internet and left for dead years ago. If you ever heard of the term birth control glasses, this is a birth control magazine. If you have one of these lying around your room, you don’t ever have to worry about getting anyone pregnant. You actually don’t even have to worry about bringing any girls to your room.
So I take it to the register. I don’t really want it (Do YOU want to see the character popularity poll results of something called Baby Princess?) but, in the interest of lightening the load on my wallet, I was willing to extend my bachelorhood for another 2 years to around 2036. Hey, it came with a figure, which… I lost… The cashier tells me the price and I hand him a $20 bill.
All is well, right? If you’re paying attention then you should already know what’s coming.
The total was $15 + change.
I got 4 dollar bills back.
FUCK!!!
Now instead of having 14 bills, I had 18. I put the $1 bills in my pocket. What I should have done was thrown the dollar bills at the cashier’s face.
Most popular Baby Princess?
Out of 19 possible choices, my Imperial Overlords selected the two tsundere girls as the top two. I can already taste vomit in my mouth.
Quiz Time!
Here’s a simple quiz covering various topics about me. They’re all true/false questions. Give it a shot and see how bad you do. Answers will be posted next week.
- I bought a pack of cigarettes in the last month.
- I’m in love with Sun Ye from the Wonder Girls.
- I have a secret affinity towards enka.
- I don’t like speaking Japanese because I talk like a 14 year old girl.
- I always bet big when a black guy is the shooter at a craps table.
- I only like football for the gambling aspect.
- I prefer socializing with girls who are already in a relationship.
- I write lies disguised as the truth to Japanese Internet radio shows just so I can get them read on the air.
- I’ve bred Pokemon for girls before.
- I don’t like to talk more than I have to because I hate the sound of my own voice.