I’m not sure what to make out of all this. I heard that they made a movie out of AIR and after a run in the theaters they recently released the DVD version of it.

I watched it, or at least I think I did. Aozora played in the background and someone died. That’s pretty much where all the similarities end.

Now I’ll have nightmares every night until sometime around 2018 where they will be replaced by images from the TV debut of Da Capo Twelfth Season – Miharu’s Revenge IV. First of all, the characters look retarded. Looking at their faces lowers YOUR IQ by 60 points. Then there’s the story, which I’ll talk about later. The scariest part of all, however, is that the deceptively restrictive rules of capitalism strongly insinuate that money had to be exchanged between multiple parties in order for this movie to be made/watched/bought. I’m definitely sleeping with the lights on tonight.

I am convinced that they paid some guys to write the movie script but after the budget was wasted on lap dances and tacos, they were like “Shit, we need to come up with a script… fast!” So they stuffed an envelope with shredded newspapers and a paper plate that said…

and mailed it to the animators. If you can think of a better explanation, please let me know. The director’s commentary audio track (which may prove/disprove my theory) is only a mouse click away, but there’s an unsettling fear that’s preventing me from exploring that route. The fear is that what I speculated above might not be that far from the truth.

Of course, the movie has its list of merits, such as…
- Ryuuya’s epic Beyblade battle against the soldiers
- Gratuitous use of still images. Everybody loves slow pans across still images. It’s like they’re moving, but they’re not!
- Split screen action. Who doesn’t like SPLIT SCREEN ACTION!?
- NO MINAGI

So it’s not a total loss, but you can’t possibly be satisfied with the end result. I know I wasn’t.

I wasn’t expecting much out of a h-game -> anime conversion, but I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of this show. Certain parts felt rushed and certain parts didn’t need to make it out of the editing room (Haruko’s final words to Sora…) but, overall, it was pretty satisfying. Not much else to say here, but I’ll let Misuzu’s final diary entry (Exclusively on lk.com! In English, no less!) sum everything up.

Misuzu’s True Final Diary Entry

Gaos this week: 2
Total Gaos: 11

Rest in peace, Misuzu. You’ve earned it. You defied all odds (of saying “GAO” more than 10 times) and made everyone (me) very happy. Let’s just ignore the widely accepted assumption (which is still debatable) that the purple haired girl in the end who sounds like Shiipon is a reincarnation of you.

The curse of the winged people (and those damn monks) takes its toll on Misuzu’s body and soul, which puts her in pretty bad shape. Despite this unfortuante set of circumstances, Haruko and Misuzu get a second chance to start over as mother and daughter. Misuzu’s biological father then shows up and ruins the party (which mainly consists of wheelchair pushing anyway). No worries, for the power of girls love prevails over all. Yes, it even prevails over incest, depite what the latest Onegai Twins doujinshis tell you.

Ah, the beach scene gets to me every time…

Gaos this week: 0
Total Gaos: 9

Yukito turns into a crow and shows the other side of all the Misuzu-related happenings in the first 7 episodes. Seeing Misuzu cry always makes me sad.

Pop quiz time! Plese finish this sentence.

Sora is smarter than Yukito because…

My answer (highlight to view): he got as far away from Minagi as possible at the first opportunity. Ultra happy!

Gaos this week: 1
Total Gaos: 9

I had to think about this one a little bit. It’s a “repeat” of a “gao” from episode 3, but it’s from Sora’s (who didn’t exist in episode 3) point of view. That alone justifies the existence of an alternate timeline and, therefore, this “gao” is an independent instantiation from the one that was previously shown.

Anyone who disagrees is welcome to contact me.

Game over for Kanna. Too many arrows to the chest will do that to you.

Ryuuya and Uraha vow to remove the curse that is following Kanna’s spirit and they’ll fuck like wild rabbits to do it. Makes sense to me. At least now we know why we had to watch 2 episodes of Kanna and her wacky 10th century antics.

Fast forward 1000 years and we find that Misuzu makes a new friend. I hope she the bird knows that birds Misuzus are infested with disease.

Gaos this week: 0
Total Gaos: 8

Oh yeah, I almost forgot… How come Kanna didn’t kiss Uraha?????

Who are these people? Why does anyone need to care about what happened 1000 years ago?

Kanna and her posse of bitches (Ryuuya) and hos (Uraha) go on a journey to find her mom. Kanna plays on the highest difficulty level possible and prohibits Ryuuya from killing people. Seeing as how entire armies are out to get them, that might not be the smartest thing to do. There are no savepoints either.

Kanna is hardcore.

Gaos this week: 0
Total Gaos: 8

Oh well, they didn’t know about dinosaurs back then.

The plot thickens. Misuzu becomes ill and she’s in pretty bad shape. In response to the current situation, Yukito teleports the fuck out of there. I know I would do the same thing. Lord knows what kind of a mess Misuzu might leave in her bed for him to clean up, being sick and all.

So, of course, the first thing that I think about is… is this when he bangs her in the H-version of the game? The mood is less than desirable, but this is a guy who obviously had no qualms about doing the same thing to Kano and Minagi. That’s saying a lot, since they’re not exactly bursting with sanity.

During a flashback, Yukito’s mom (the one with the guitar) said…

「見る人に笑って欲しいと思ってる? そうじゃないと動かないよ.」
“Are you thinking that you want the people watching it to laugh? If you don’t then it won’t move.”

which hit very close to home, and the first thing that came to my mind was…

Damn, Yukito’s mom is hawt.

Gaos this week: 1
Total Gaos: 8

Michiru dies.

Minagi goes away to deflower yet another little girl under the guise of being “siblings”.

Misuzu says “Gao”.

If Hijiri took off her top and made out with Kano (who would also be topless), this episode would have been perfect. Alas, we can’t always have things done the way we want but three out of four isn’t bad at all. This might raise the question “EW! Dude, aren’t they like sisters?”

To that I answer…

“Yes.”

Gaos this week: 1
Total Gaos: 7

This week’s theme is sadness.

Aside from the well drawn h-scenes from the game, I’m still confused to as why Minagi and Kano even exist in the first place. As far as I know, they have no role in the real storyline. This leads me to believe that they’re just boner fodder and, therefore, even more useless in the all-age version. Sad… =(

Seeing Misuzu cry makes me sad… =(

Gaos this week: 0
Total Gaos: 6

Honestly, I don’t see any more gaos happening again. I was hoping for at least 10 but that’s next to impossible now. That is also very sad… =(

「はね -plume-」

In the realm of anime and manga…

Lovely Kitsune likes:
- Comedy
- Ninjas
- Little girls sexing each other in unholy ways

School Rumble, Naruto and Ichigo Mashimaro fulfill those very nicely, but must I depend on three separate entities for a full entertainment experience? That’s very unsexy.

Lovely Kitsune does not like:
- Girls with issues
- Hard-to-understand old Japanese dialogue
- A week without Gaos

Instead of wasting my time with three different sources to be my usual bitter self, all I had to do was watch AIR this week to get my recommended dose of dislikes in one sitting! Yay! I’m still waiting for the real story (Misuzu’s) to begin and until then I can only speak of the ills of this show.

The funny thing is, this week’s Mai-HiME episode (#17) somehow managed to cram in all six categories mentioned above. How? That show just does its own nonsensical shit without any regard for human decency. Now, that’s productivity!

Gaos this week: 0
Total Gaos: 6