Happy birthday to me. I’m 30 years old today, in case you’re wondering.

This site is dead. Fuck you, too.

TACOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is what I would say if I was at the game.

Anyone want to go to a home game? I’ll buy you a taco if the Lakers win and hold their opponents to under 100 points.

Do you know what upsets me the most about Mega Man 9?

Proper English usage

My life is usually stagnant at best or, in the worst case scenario, just downright boring.

Not this week, though!

I’ll be in Seattle, WA this weekend fulfilling my lifelong perverted fantasy. If anyone reading this is living in the Seattle area, can you recommend a fun activity or a nice restaurant for Sunday brunch? In exchange, I’ll write about anything you want me to.

Mastro’s

is officially my most favoritest steakhouse ever. There’s nothing like a steak cooked in butter with a glass of 18 year old Scotch to wash it down.

New phone

My 2 years with the Razr made me vow to never get anything made by Motorola ever again. I love my new phone. It’s an unlocked GSM phone from Europe (Samsung Soul) complete with a Dutch instruction manual. I had one hell of a time navigating through the interface to change the language to English. I was originally in the market for a Japanese phone but the flaming hoops that I had to jump through to even get one to work halfway was a major turnoff.

What the fuck do you mean that I can’t have MP3 ringtones? What? I have to saw off half of my SIM card? No Bluetooth? What do you mean no text messaging?

I get bullied by enough Draconian policies at work as it is. I don’t need my phone’s manufacturer to veto my telephone preferences and then proceed to rub its testicles all over my face. Unlocked European phones are a perfect blend of technology and freedom. Japanese phones… are only great to look at while you’re waiting in line for bread with your comrades at the proletariat grain depot.

I DON’T SPEAK DUTCH, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

I love Kent and Bosun. They shower me with exotic presents from the Orient and expect nothing from me in return.

I also have to give them some dap for being in tune with my interests.

This will be the first piece of non-birth-control-literature that I will read in over 6 years. This might actually help me meet some girls. Well, not really.

Lakers win game 5!

The Lakers are going to get destroyed in game 6 with the way that they’re playing.

100 Free Throws

I went to the basketball courts at Whitney High School and shot 100 free throws on Saturday. I made 33 out of 100. I suck, but at least I beat Ken. Then we got trashed at the bar in the local bowling alley. I’m going to miss him when he moves up to San Francisco next month.

Quiz 3 Answer

There is no wrong answer, but the true correct answer is to think outside the box and say D) All of the above because hanging out with me is a mayonnaise jarful of fun!

Finally gaining weight?

I am officially at 146.7 lbs (at 5′9″). I can beat up most girls and guys with physical (not mental, those fuckers are strong) disabilities. Life is great.

Wonder Girls – So Hot

민선예 So Hot!
박예은 So Hot!
선미짱 So Hot!
안소희 So Hot!
김유빈 So Hot!
사랑해요 원더걸스
매력만점 원더걸스
So Hot 대박

So Hee still can’t sing. Sun Mi is still a hairy reptile. That thing they do where they run their finger up the leg of the girl next them (2:50) still arouses me.

I <3 Sun Ye (even though she’s only 18 and they make her wear that hideous wig).

(8:53:53 PM) Sam: they better rig the games or something
(8:53:59 PM) Sam: because this is some sad shit
(8:54:52 PM) Ken: don’t know how you can rig it with the way the lakers are playing
(8:55:04 PM) Sam: 100 free throws
(8:55:14 PM) Ken: yeah

I also gotta give some dap to my RSF buddies.

What does one stroke get you?

3 feet of horizontal displacement in a swimming pool?

1/5 of the way to the height of passion for young and eligible bachelors like myself?

This?

If anyone wants to send me their unused 3 iron, please email me or leave me a comment. I’ll send you an autographed golf ball for your magnanimous act of philanthropy.

Conversation of the day

*Phone rings*

Me: Hey.

Not me: Yo. Where are you?

Me: At the golf course.

Not me: I figured you’d either be at home or at the golf course. Not useful… Bye.

Me: So what’s…

*click*

Why do I have a cell phone again?

Misuda clip of the week

Well, it’s from like 6 months ago but I downloaded an old episode and thought I’d share this.

When speaking English to a Korean person, make sure you say it in a Korean accent.

Let’s do another one.

1. Which of the following restaurants do you want to go to with me?
A. Phil’s BBQ (San Diego)
B. Mastro’s Steakhouse (Costa Mesa)
C. House of Prime Rib (San Francisco)

Good luck.