This episode is the story of how Sei chose Shimako to be her little sister. The tension, the drama, the words of utter nonsense by Rosa Chinensis saying that Shimako is a lot like Sei, everything is in its place.

To think that Sachiko was going to choose Shimako as her little sister is a scary proposition. No, it’s not because of any possible problems between those two. A Sachiko x Shimako pairing gives Sei free reign to choose someone else as her little sister. Yumi, perhaps? Who knows? Such a thought exceeds all human comprehension. I may preach the joys of lesbian relationships but even I know that putting Yumi and Sei together in the same place for extended periods of time can be a recipe for disaster. Consider this familiar scene from most Japanese porno movies …

Girl: No, we musn’t… Please, no…
Guy: You say no, but why are your panties wet?
Girl: =(

Replace the “Girl” and the “Guy” with appropriate characters from this show and you’ll see what I mean. Poor Yumi never had a chance.

Shimako is a good match for Sei. She keeps the lustful beast known as Rosa Gigantea in a docile state. Plus, Shimako also plays the melodion. Everyone loves a melodion player, which is why I masturbate so often.

Holy shit, I completely forgot about this show.

Uhm, the third year students graduate and they recount their days as delicious underage Catholic school girls. Rosa Foetida got totally owned by Sei in their wrestling brawl during kindergarten. This is a clear indication of what Rosa Gigantea’s role in a homosexual relationship is. She straddled Eriko very nicely but her little romp in the garden of decadent delights was cut short by a nun. This is very symbollic of Sei’s long running frustrations in the realm of lesbian romance. The Church always seems to ruin her fun but the blatant defiance of Catholic principles is what makes these sordid events so sexy.

The rest was boring horseshit. I never realized that Rosa Chinensis was so goddamn uniteresting. It’s all good, though. She’s still better than crazy Sachiko.

Everyone feels sad because the third year students are graduating. Yumi drinks warm milk with Rosa Chinensis and Sachiko makes sweet love to a mechanical pencil. All is well in Lilian Academy. Too bad no one cares about any of this irrelevant shit.

ARYGHDFGJHDSKJSHF#H!!!!! Rosa Gigantea and Yumi finally throw all their inhibitions out the window and get down to business. What am I saying? Rosa Gigantea never had any inhibitions. Okay, so Yumi finally throws all her inhibitions out the window and reciprocates Rosa Gigantea’s unambiguously homosexual advances. No wonder why Yumi has been so nice to Shimako, she’s compensating for the guilt of harboring exorbitant amounts of Catholic teenage lust towards Rosa Gigantea. I can’t really blame her, though. I don’t know what direction this show will go in once Sei leaves school. It’s one of those things you just can’t fathom happening. The day of reckoning approaches, however, and I’m not liking it.

Special Bonus!

Yumi x Rosa Gigantea in the empty classroom!!! (Right-click and save)

Transcript of the video done by me.

祐巳 (Yumi): さ…さよなら! (Goodbye!)

聖 (Sei): 祐巳ちゃんのちゅうが心残りで卒業できない～! (The thought of your kiss is still left in my heart so I can’t graduate~!)

聖 (Sei): どうした? (What’s wrong?)

聖 (Sei): さっさと帰らないとまた襲っちゃうよ (If you don’t leave, I’m going to attack you again)

聖 (Sei): 何考えてるの？ (What are you thinking about?)

*Yumi and Sei share a gentle moment of passion and Sei chases down Yumi afterwards*

聖 (Sei): 改めて言う事も無いと思ったから黙っていったけど…私、祐巳ちゃんと知り合いでよかったと心から思ってる (I didn’t think this was worth repeating so I didn’t say anything but I’m really glad that I met you.)

祐巳 (Yumi): えぇ… (Eh…?)

I love this show.

Rosa Gigantea tricks the first year students into doing a talent show for the Rosas‘ goodbye party. In addition to other preparations for graduation, the first year students in the 山百合会 (Yamayurikai) have that to worry about. Yumi stresses out about it, as usual, because she has to please her seniors. She collapses during class and pisses in her pants (okay, not really) from too much stress. When Sachiko tells Sei about what happened because of her, she just laughs and nonchalantly says “Bitch, STFU!” I’m going to miss Rosa Gigantea.

However, I have found a new favorite character! It’s Shimako (Rosa Gigantea en Bouton) because she plays the melodion!!!!!!!!! Those wacky Japanese people call it a pianica, though. They also drive on the left side of the road and put the dreaded mosaic over the naughty bits in their pornography. Yeah, who’s crazy now, huh?

Men? Marriage proposals? HETEROSEXUALITY? What the fuuuuuuuuuuuck!!?? I didn’t pay for this shit!

“But, LK, you didn’t pay for it. You’ve been getting free anime for 4 years now. You even download region 2 DVD rips of shows you’ve already seen.”

Silence! The Marimite world has turned upside down with this tragic debacle of common decency. Eriko (Rosa Foetida) has been going on mysterious dates with MEN. Then she starts acting all weird and talks about getting MARRIED to a MAN. I’m glad that she’s graduating soon. I didn’t even know her real name until this episode (*).

So there was a big misunderstanding and 4 out of the 5 men Eriko went on “dates” with were her father and three brothers. One of the brothers is so pimp that he comes to Eriko’s school dressed in full football (that’s American football) gear. However, she is in love with the fifth guy and asks him to marry her. She gets shot down but she makes it known that she’ll pursue him in the future. Eriko’s brothers and dad all oppose this for very suspicious reasons (Da Capo, anyone?). What a crazy country. Let’s just hope that the girl x guy stuff ends here and that everything will return to “normal” next week.

(*) To be honest, it’s not really anyone’s fault that I didn’t know Rosa Foetida’s real name. When you share the stage with Rosa Gigantea, being pushed aside to the gutter is inevitable. Some people may not be big fans of Sei, but she does involuntarily commandeer everyone’s attention.

YES YES YES YES!!! The writer’s goldmine known as Maria-sama ga Miteru comes back for a second season! Each episode I write about brings me one step closer to an afterlife of suffering in the firey depths of the netherworld. Is it worth all that? The answer is a resounding FUCK YES! This isn’t like Midori no Hibi where I’m hoping for something good to happen. I know this show is cheesy and that’s exactly what I’m looking for. If an episode is really bad then the entries practically write themselves.

In case you forgot, here’s a brief overview of the show. This show can be best summarized as follows

Maria-sama ga Miteru (マリア様がみてる) – A show about a bunch of snobby girls who rule an all girls Catholic school with an iron fist and their unambiguous homosexual tendencies.

Yumi (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton Petit Souer) and a couple of other first year students get picked as bitches little sisters of some of the most powerful figures (that whole Rosa BS) in the school. They mysteriously turn into lesbians and the story picks up at the end of Yumi’s first year at Lilian Academy.

Sei (Rosa Gigantea) gets everyone together at Sachiko’s (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton) house for a wild lesbian orgy, or so I thought. Who the hell invited Sachiko’s yaoi-inducing cousin? Why is he wearing a pink shirt? Why is Yumi’s brother there? Why is Rosa Chinensis (I don’t even remember her real name) the only one who looks like she just came back from the prom? Why are Ayatollah Razmada and his cadre of fanatics consolidating their power as we speak? Why am I writing this? Why are you still here?

So many questions, yet none of them were answered at the end of the episode. I guess I can’t expect this show to possess all the answers to the universe. But seriously, why is Rosa Chinensis wearing that ugly dress? Who’s she trying to impress? The house full of girls or the two gay guys? Oh wait, nevermind.

So we approach the climax of the episode. Everyone else except for Yumi and Rosa Gigantea go home and Yumi ejaculates in her pants when Sachiko asks her if she wants to sleep over. What can I say? Sachiko finally puts out, just like how I predicted.

Here are a few observations about this episode.

• Yumi is very shocked to find out that Rosa Gigantea has a drivers license. I guess this is a cultural gap because plenty of high school students drive in this country. Most of my friends also drive like Sei, sometimes even worse, so Yumi’s reaction to her driving skills is foreign to me.
• The opening song, Pastel Pure, is the same one used during the first season but it has lyrics this time around. I don’t like it very much, personally.
• Some TV executive thought it would be funny to put this show on a Sunday morning timeslot. I think it’s a conspiracy to tone down the blatant homosexual lust or maybe it’s a subtle way to persecute Catholics in Japan. They’re also plotting to annoy me by putting the time on the top-left corner of the screen. I’ll have to download DVD-rips to compensate for that. I win!
• The opening may suck, but the ending kicks ass. It’s mostly because of the visuals, though. See for yourself.
  

What a crappy ending. I’ll keep this short. I won’t even bother with the Rosa names either.

Shimako and Shizuka eat lunch. Shizuka sings Ave Maria (the Charles Gounod version, no less) for about 6 hours while Shimako releases her sexual frustration on Sei.

Rei’s date cries because Rei called her Yoshino 5 times. Even though Yoshino pretends to be upset, she cries because she’s happy that Rei loves her the most. Rei bakes a cake.

Yumi helps Sachiko buy jeans and sneakers. Afterwards, they engage in some stimulating after-date phone sex. Yumi is confident that Sachiko will put out by the next date. Go get ‘em, tiger!

Memorable quote
聖 – お望みなら朝まで付き合うけれど
Sei – If you want, I’ll be with you until morning.

o_0

The End

Concluding Remarks

Maria-sama ga Miteru was hilarious and it was definitely the most entertaining show of the January season. The ironic part is that this show isn’t a comedy. It’s funny for all the wrong reasons. My laughter was usually directed at some region between pity and ridicule (Right click and save as). Don’t get me wrong, I liked the show. If I didn’t then I wouldn’t bother writing these superfluous updates. I do admit that I liked the show for all the wrong reasons but it’s all the same in the end, right?

There are, however, those boring scenes where the producers try to go all cultural (Right click and save as) on you and shit. What can I say? It’s a small price to pay. Bring on the second season!

So the 3 en Boutons go on dates with the people who won the contest.

That’s uhm.. pretty much… it. The 24 minutes just flew by. What am I saying? It was fuckin’ boring. There wasn’t any slurpslurpslurp!

Rei (Rosa Foetida en Bouton) goes on a date with some jabronie girl. Yoshino (Rosa Foetida en Bouton Petit Souer) stalks them because jealousy is an ugly, pigtailed beast. Shimako (Rosa Gigantea en Bouton) goes on a “date” with Shizuka (Rosa Canina). After some cryptic discussion on the bus, they wind up at school. It’s pretty clear that Rosa Canina has some hidden agenda but no one cares about her or anyone else that I’ve mentioned so far.

Yumi (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton Petit Souer) sucks valuable time out of this episode by worrying about how she can please the aristocratic Sachiko-sama (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton) on their date with her boorish ways. She even consulted a 風水 (feng shui) book for window shopping strategies. That’s some dedication (or unparalleled lesbian lust) right there.

The highlight of the episode is when Yumi and Sachiko go to the local fast-food place. I never thought I’d find any entertainment value in watching someone order hamburgers. The uncanny way this show can turn anything into an emotional experience is something that cannot be explained in words, so I won’t.

Couple (three) things to note here though.
1. Rei and the jabronie girl go watch a movie on their date. It might be just me, but I think going to a movie on a first date is a really stupid idea. Eh, but what do I know?

2. Yumi invites Sachiko on a date without any plans on what to do. What the fuck is wrong with her? Even I know that’s bad.

3. Who eats sandwiches with a knife and fork? Weird.

The thrilling (huh?) conclusion to this show airs in roughly 3 days. I hope they slip each other the tongue.

Maria-sama ga Miteru (マリア様がみてる) – A show about a bunch of snobby girls who rule an all girls Catholic school with an iron fist and their unambiguous homosexual tendencies.

Yeah, the first entry is on the 11th episode of a 13 episode series but I couldn’t let the rampaging acts lesbianism go unrecognized. I won’t bore you by writing a long ass entry about my opinions of the show, but how can you say no to this?

This episode is a flashback of Sei’s (a.k.a Rosa Gigantea) past. It was a rather tragic (corny) story of how she meets some girl and falls in love with her. However, their romance is short lived when Sei loses her to the church because of her choice to become a nun.

The best part of this episode was when Rosa Gigantea got mad and asked her girlfriend if she’s choosing God over her… while they were in a church. Good job there, Sei.

Then this (right click and save as) happens…

****
Transcript – done by me
栞: シスターになるのは私の希望なの
聖: じゃぁ、どうして私の目を見ないの?　迷っているからじゃないの?
栞: 違う…
聖: 栞、好きよ…
栞: いやぁ!

Shiori: It’s my dream to become a nun.
Sei: Then how come you’re not looking me in the eyes? Is it because you’re having doubts?
Shiori: That’s not it…
Sei: Shiori, I love you…
Shiori: No! Don’t!
****

Man, someone is going straight to hell!

How anyone can possibly take this show seriously is totally beyond my comprehension. I still don’t understand how they managed to make a 3 part Valentine’s Day episode even though there aren’t any males in a 5 mile radius. Maria-sama ga Miteru isn’t just a show, it’s a weekly, 24-minute sacreligious experience. Even I felt dirty after watching this episode and I’m not even Catholic.

Next episode features a date between the real main characters, Sachiko (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton) and Yumi (Rosa Chinensis en Bouton Petit Souer). I’ll write another entry if it features any “action”.

Bonus
More Rosa Gigantea action from episode 6 (right click and save as), this time it’s with another girl (Rosa Canina). What a slut, but that’s what makes Sei so awesome. She makes everyone her bitch.

Transcript – done by me again
聖: ロサ　カニーナ…
静: 静…と呼んで下さいませんか
聖: し ず か

Sei: Rosa Canina…
Shizuka: Won’t you please call me Shizuka…
Sei: Shi zu ka

Priceless.