Shimako breaks her brain, hilarity ensues. I think it’s funny how these girls always involve themselves in petty details that they forget the real reason why they’re at Lillian Academy (promiscuous lesbian sex).

My heterosexual male upbringing may blind me to the delicate infrastructure of the lesbian female psyche but I honestly don’t see what the problem is. It’s obvious that Shimako and Noriko like each other so they (Noriko) should be willing to make compromises to be together. Shimako should have given her rosary to Noriko at the beginning to avoid the emotional carwreck train derailment that takes place in this episode. Actually, I take that back. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Crazy Sachiko piss all over Noriko’s face to assert her dominance as the alpha male of the school.

And people wonder why parents pay money to have their daughters go to Catholic school.

Word of the week
年功序列 (ねんこうじょれつ – Nen’koujoretsu): Seniority

These people are fucked up. In order to show Shimako that it’s okay to be a Buddhist and go to a Catholic school, Sachiko and Rei set her and Noriko up in front of the new students. This is like one of those “Most embarrassing moments” that I’ve read in teen girl magazines. You know, the ones that involve some girl shitting in her pants as her used tampon flies out while the guy she’s “ToTaLLy cRuShiNg oN” is watching. The stories always end with some variation of “OMFG! I sO wAnTeD to DiE~!!!!

Shimako might have been taught a valuable lesson, but Noriko was stabbed in the eye with the tampon of social injustice. She didn’t need any help, yet she was dragged into this because of Shimako. Sure it’s “okay” to be a Buddhist and go to a Catholic school but now the whispers and stares will follow both of them everyhwere. Good job, Rei and Sachiko.

Of course, this is all from a real-life perspective. Jaded, yet mostly true, assumptions about human nature don’t fly in a fantasy anime world where Catholic high school girls kiss each other to pass the time. In Lilian Academy, Shimako and Noriko will be happy together without any worries. Yay.

Everytime I watch a Marimite episode, part of my manhood dies. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been victimized by this show so I’m not worried. This show may be turning me into a woman but it’s concurrently turning me into a lesbian. Hey, it’s all good as long as I still like girls, right?

The new school year brings in potential new relationships and potential drama. It seems like Shimako has found herself a new girlfriend. Now that Sei is gone, I’ll have to take whatever I can get. Anything that will focus the attention away from Yumi and Sachiko is welcome. The big surprise in this episode is that Shimako is a Buddhist, yet she goes to a Catholic school. The other big surprise is that Tsunade’s giant slug in Naruto sounds exactly like Shimako.

The true highlight of this episode comes from the preview at the end for the next episode. My limited English vocabulary cannot begin to describe the kickasstacularness of this preview. You’ll have to experience it for yourself.

Maria-sama ga Miteru ~Haru~ – Episode 8 preview (right click and save)

This episode is the story of how Sei chose Shimako to be her little sister. The tension, the drama, the words of utter nonsense by Rosa Chinensis saying that Shimako is a lot like Sei, everything is in its place.

To think that Sachiko was going to choose Shimako as her little sister is a scary proposition. No, it’s not because of any possible problems between those two. A Sachiko x Shimako pairing gives Sei free reign to choose someone else as her little sister. Yumi, perhaps? Who knows? Such a thought exceeds all human comprehension. I may preach the joys of lesbian relationships but even I know that putting Yumi and Sei together in the same place for extended periods of time can be a recipe for disaster. Consider this familiar scene from most Japanese porno movies …

Girl: No, we musn’t… Please, no…
Guy: You say no, but why are your panties wet?
Girl: =(

Replace the “Girl” and the “Guy” with appropriate characters from this show and you’ll see what I mean. Poor Yumi never had a chance.

Shimako is a good match for Sei. She keeps the lustful beast known as Rosa Gigantea in a docile state. Plus, Shimako also plays the melodion. Everyone loves a melodion player, which is why I masturbate so often.

Holy shit, I completely forgot about this show.

Uhm, the third year students graduate and they recount their days as delicious underage Catholic school girls. Rosa Foetida got totally owned by Sei in their wrestling brawl during kindergarten. This is a clear indication of what Rosa Gigantea’s role in a homosexual relationship is. She straddled Eriko very nicely but her little romp in the garden of decadent delights was cut short by a nun. This is very symbollic of Sei’s long running frustrations in the realm of lesbian romance. The Church always seems to ruin her fun but the blatant defiance of Catholic principles is what makes these sordid events so sexy.

The rest was boring horseshit. I never realized that Rosa Chinensis was so goddamn uniteresting. It’s all good, though. She’s still better than crazy Sachiko.